"If Christmas was canceled"

If Christmas was canceled - written by Leigh Riches.
2001 Oakden Baptist Church.


Props: Christmas tree, tinsel, star, stocking, crackers, presents, bowl of chips, table and chair.

Setting: Guy decorating Christmas tree, humming Christmas song, "we wish you a merry Christmas..." . There is a Christmas tree, A chair, A Christmas stocking, some bowls of food, some crackers etc...He hangs some tinsel on the tree, and then searches in a box for the star for the top of the tree.

As he searches the foreman (carrying clipboard and flyer) and 2 removalists enter. Foreman signals to tree and removalists pick up tree and take it off the stage.

Guy finds star and reaches to put it on tree, but discovers tree is missing, spins around and is face to face with foreman.

Guy: (surprised) "Whoa....who...what...who are you?.... and where's my tree?"

Foreman: (Businesslike) "I'm Pete Clarkson, from the department of Holidays, Celebrations and special occasions... and your tree is gone, we've had to remove it!"

Guy: "I see..........Ah... just one question.....WHY?"

Foreman: "You obviously didn't get our flyer, it' so embarrassing when this happens, you see Christmas is canceled this year, we're taking all the Christmas stuff."

Guy: (dumbfounded)....... ah.....(looks to audience and back to foreman several times)...... excuse me?"

Foreman: (matter of fact) "It's all there in the flyer, look (reading)...."According to Act351, paragraph C, Christmas has been canceled until further notice... etcetera etcetera.... therefore all such items pertaining to the aforementioned holiday will be removed in accordance to the new bylaw."

Guy: "Are you...... sure.... about this...."

Foreman: "Yes, very.....now if you don't mind we need to remove some of these items."

Guy: "What.... like my tree..... you've,... you've taken my tree...."

Foreman: "That's right.... " (looks at star guy is holding)

Guy: (sees foreman is looking at star) "What.....You''re... You're gonna take my star" (foreman signals to removalist 1 who takes star from guys hand) (to audience) He took my star...."

Foreman: "Now about those presents....."

Guy: "Oh..... not the presents....."

Foreman: "Sorry, they've got to go...." (2 removalists pick up presents and take them off stage"

Guy: "Ah... be careful with those..... that's my Nintendo there......ah......(with a 'not that I've looked' face) I hope!"

Foreman: "Now let's see...... that stocking has to go...."

Guy: "Oh not the stocking......oh...." (removalist 2 takes stocking off stage)

(Guy sits down in chair and picks up the bow of chips on the ground and starts to eat. Foreman looks at him and chips, writes down something on his clipboard. Guy sees this looks from clipboard to bowl of chips....)

Guy: (despairingly) "Whaaat?"

Foreman: (reading) "all such items pertaining to..."

Guy: "yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard the first time..... but my food "

Foreman: (correctingly) "Christmas food...."

Guy: (hands up bowl to foreman and imitates him) "Christmas food" (Guy spies box of bon-bons on ground and picks them up quickly, stands up with box behind back)

Foreman: "Ah... can you show me your hand please"
(guy shows one hand hiding box behind with other)

"And the other one" (guy swaps hands and shows other one)

"And now both at once thank you" (Guy reluctantly complies and box of bon-bons drops to floor - removalist 1 picks them up and carries them off stage)


Foreman: (checking clipboard) "And one box of bon-bons.......well, I think that's it...."

Guy: (annoyed) "Yeah that's it all right, you''ve got my tree, my presents, my stocking, my food, my bon-bons, you've taken Christmas away from me ... I've got nothing left"

Foreman: "Sorry, I'm just doing my job, Happy....... 25th of December"
(foreman and removalist exit)


(Guy sits back down in chair, looking discouraged. Small child runs onto stage, looks around then speaks)

Child: "Daddy, Daddy, Where's all our Christmas stuff gone?"

Guy: (dejected) "I'm sorry,.... but a man came and took it all away. He took away everything to do with Christmas"

Child: "Did the man take away Jesus ?"

Guy: (realising what Christmas means) "Jesus.........No,......No he didn't. He could never take away Jesus."